Her name was Lola, she used a shotgun
by kikisu
Summary: Just because she's a paragon doesn't mean Commander Shepard doesn't need a warm body to keep her company at night. And the only guy on board that she has any hope for can't seem to look past her status as a legend.


Shepard stepped out of the hot tub, so happy to finally be alone. Not that she was all that bothered by all her crewmen in her rather large apartment, but the stress of being targeted, again, made her crave the warm waters of a bath. While the break in information was rather maddening, it gave people a bit of free time to go out. Well… She could have used the tub with the others around but being on a star ship gave her no excuse to own a bath suit and there were some members of the crew she'd prefer to not see her naked.

_But I've already seen you naked, Shepard._

Kaidan's voice played in her head. As did Garrus'. While her relationship with Kaidan was nearly 3 years passed, ending things with Garrus was a rather new wound. Their one night together had been in fact, using Garrus' own words, an interspecies awkwardness thing that had landed her in sick bay to get treated for some of the worst damage her body had even seen. Those damned claws. They were better friends anyway, and the time apart had made her see that. Him too, it seemed, for when she turned him down he seemed almost… Relieved. Relief was better than sadness.

Damn, where was her towel? Must've forgotten it in the room. Oh well, no one was supposed to be back for a while. She could go get a drink, unwind, play a little music. Music! Shepard started to softly sing, a classical earth song. "Like insects and fish when they're scared. And they sing the same old song, though it's been so very long. They sing, 'raindrops falling on my head'. But that doesn't mean that I am dead."

'Wine or brandy?' She thought to herself as she descended the stairs and turned the corner, just absent minded enough to miss the group of men sitting in front of her T.V. watching the big biotball game. That is, until she heard her name.

"Shepard… We uh- We thought you were at the casino bar." Kaidan said, as he seemed to be the least embarrassed of the men. Well, besides Javik, who just thought of her as a primitive and saw no reason to be embarrassed that she was naked. Not that Shepard cared too that they saw her like that. For starters, they were in the military. Being in a war, not fighting on a ship or on short missions that they'd been doing, you saw other people; there was no reason to care. Then there was the fact that damn she looked good. But the best thing, and the main reason why she didn't care, was that James Vega looked more hot and bothered than she had ever seen him.

"How did you even get in here?" She'd need to change the locks.

"We kinda hacked the door…" Garrus said, rubbing the back of his fringe.

Scratch that… They'd just be back.

"Dammit you can't just come in here when ever you want! At least _ask _me next time." She wanted to throw the brandy in her hand at them. But seeing her naked was punishment enough. Poor Cortez seemed to be turning into a tomato! Without saying much, she turned and went up the stairs to get dressed, leaving them behind. By the time she got back down, James was the only one left.

'Sorry Lola… They thought you'd gone up to get your gun so you could shoot us."

"And you?"

"I figured as long as you skipped getting dressed you can shoot me any day."

"Uh huh. And the real reason you stayed behind?"

"I figured you'd let me use the punching bag if I asked nicely."

"Yeah, just… Don't _do _that again. It's not _our _apartment, it's mine. Oh and I should really tell them that Anderson kept a piston under the bar, so I coulda shot them right then and there."

"It's a good thing you ain't got a temper Lola. I think if it's possible you'd find a way to _talk_ the reapers into leaving."

"You think? Should I just go ask the reapers nicely to leave earth alone?"

"Well if anyone can do it you can. Hell you got the geth and the quarians to be all buddy buddy. That's as likely as making the turians and the krogan get together. Oh wait, you already did that."

While talking they had moved to the workout area, and James really went to town on the punching bag. Shepard always seemed to catch him doing pull ups, so she decided to see how hard it really was.

"Hey Shepard, you know my record's 182. Think you can beat it?"

"Heh, maybe." She doubted it. If that was his record well… Just watching him workout made her tired some times, how in hell was she going to do 183 pull ups?

The first 50 didn't seem too bad, even with James heckling her most of the way. At least he was keeping track of how many she was doing; Shepard was too busy wondering how she'd kill reapers without her arms, as she was pretty sure they'd fall off if she managed to get to 183.

By the time she had hit 183 she was _sure_ that her arms might fall off. Damn they were numb. At least James was impressed. Impressed enough to leave?

"Hey James, don't invite anyone up, and when you're done can you go do… Whatever it is you do in your free time? I need either a nap or another soak."

"Whatever you say Lola. You know, you didn't have to do that."

"Someone had to show you up James. Prove that you're not the only one with muscles around here."

"So, who you gonna take with you tonight to the casino?"

"Why, you wanna be my date? Get seen on the arm of Commander Shepard?" In all honesty, if she didn't bring Wrex, she'd have probably asked Vega anyway.

"Well now that you bring it up."

"Oh fine, if you insist. But I need to lay down before then. Maybe the feeling in my arms'll come back at some point before we go."

"Yeah, maybe."


End file.
